Promoting Silence

Should Freedom of Speech allow something like this to be published? Yes, but does that make it morally acceptable? Absolutely not.
There has been quite an influx of fashion articles promoting slavery and abuse, but this one particularly outrages me, partially because of the writer's opinion and because of the responses I read about this article.
I found this picture in an article from Yahoo's Shine. I completely agree with the author who feels this promotes domestic violence but differ in how it promotes abuse.
In the comments section, one user responded to the article as follows: "Back to whether or not it promotes and/or glamorize domestic violence. I'm personally don't see it. offensive how? I think see people are that stupid to look at the pictures and go "wow i wanna be her, all beat up". who's going to go around sporting a black eye. maybe so dumb celeb always trying to set trends or blind to style like Lilo?" And this is where I think both the author and commentator got it wrong. (Wrong even beyond the outrageous number of grammatical errors and very likelihood that this person is no Einstein.)
No, most people are not that stupid to say, "I want to be like her, bruised and beat up." But what it does say is that it is acceptable, it is ok, to be beat up like that. It likely won't encourage younger girls, boys, and teenagers to want to be injured by family, friends, or boy/girlfriends. It tells them it's ok if you are. It promotes the idea that many people are hurt or injured in this way. And by doing so, it promotes silence. Silence from the young women and men subject to this type of behavior. Because if this is something that is "ok" or "common" in occurrence, why would someone speak up against it?
One of the biggest hurdles in domestic violence and abuse is the victim's silence. Their unwillingness, embarrassment, inability, and/or fear to speak up against what is done to them. And who blames them? In a society where victims cannot always be promised protection and face the disgusting potential to be called a liar for 'falsely' accusing their predators, why would a victim-especially younger adults and children-ever feel comfortable telling someone?
Most anti-abuse campaigns harp, and rightly so, about coming forward, speaking up-not ignoring, not silencing- the abuse they see/feel/hear. It is only through their ability to acknowledge and call out the abuse that it can be righted.
This picture doesn't invoke people to want to be abused, it rather hints that one should not say anything about abuse if they are subject to it or know of someone who is...because, "hey, it's ok. A lot of people are abused. It's no big deal. You can make it look cool."

This picture and photo-shoot promote the two biggest adversaries to abuse, silence and acceptance. And the fact that not enough people are acknowledging this is the problem with these photos, well, that is truly heart-breaking.

Poetry: A Bouquet

I read a poem.

"A Bouquet" by Bei Dao

(1) Between me and the world
You are a bay, a sail
The faithful ends of a rope
You are a fountain, a wind
A shrill childhood cry

(2) Between me and the world
You are a picture frame, a window
A field covered with wild flowers
You are a breath, a bed
A night that keeps the stars company

(3) Between me and the world
You are a calendar, a compass
A ray of light that slips through the gloom
You are a biographical sketch, a bookmark
A preface that comes at the end

(4) Between me and the world
You are a gauze curtain, a mist
A lamp shining into my dreams
You are a bamboo flute, a song without words
A closed eyelid carved in stone

(5) Between me and the world
You are a chasm, a pool
An abyss plunging down
You are a balustrade, a wall
A shield's eternal pattern

Now, my copy of this poem is filled with musings, wanderings and mark-ups that I made after and while reading this. Like, the first stanza- to be a sail, it is something that leads you and guides in the right direction. It is a slave to the wind, a roamer, traveler, yet is it forced and pushed to lead? Is it not put up by someone to help them on their right path?
In the 2nd stanza, the person is a picture frame, a window. This hints that there is something deeper, more meaningful even within. What picture does it frame? Is the poet attempting to find out?
Like these first two observations, there is so much in this poem that so ineptly hints at the darker mysteries, intricacies, insecurities, fears, worries, and unbeknownst qualities of a relationship. Though its hints do not detract from the positive, appreciative, and hopeful feelings the poet has towards its recipient. While each stanza may refer to a "gauze curtain," "chasm," "abyss plunging down," "a mist," each stanza ends with admiration and hope. I think this so truly portrays a relationship of love. Love is a plunge into another person's chasm; you cannot know the true depths of that person, cannot fathom how deep it truly is. You cannot know where all the cracks and crevices lie. You cannot know what secrets, treasures, or surprises you will find within them. But, you were not pushed begrudgingly into this unknowing abyss of another person- you plunged into it. There is both lightness and darkness in this person. You searched out the ray of light that dispels your gloom. You know, or at least hope, they are not only the fall but the faithful rope, sail, compass that guides you through it. You travel together; at times the leader and at times the follower.
Dao so cleverly implies the duality, complexity, jigsaw puzzle realities of love. And something that speaks the loudest to me are the last two lines: "You are a balustrade, a wall/A shield's eternal pattern." A wall has such double meanings. A wall must be climbed. It not only blocks out others, protects those behind it, but it needs, calls, to be climbed. It is intimidating, it hides something, it must be conquered. It was so strongly built with time and care, but there must be something on the other side. And if a person really loves someone, they should take the time and care to climb out and find out what is hidden behind.

Now, all of my musings are just that- my musings. This poem originally being written in Chinese further clouds my findings, because who knows what was lost in translation? What words are not exactly what the author really meant?
And what used to bother me, drive me crazy, about poetry I am now actually finding to be poetry's true beauty. I used to think that poetry was bull. Everything and every word was over analyzed, construed to be something not originally intended by the poet- because how can we know what the poet actually meant by their specific word choice and imagery?
So why did I have to waste so many hours analyzing its meaning which was so clouded in personification or vague language? There are so many countless, potential meanings of a poem. It could mean anything, everything, or nothing, all of which depended on the reader. The reader, an ever-changing human being whose thoughts and feelings and knowledge are so constantly changing and evolving, that how could a poem ever ALWAYS mean one, same thing to such an inconstant being?

And now, I think I am realizing that that is the true beauty of good poetry. When a poem can speak to so many different people, on so many different levels and meanings, and show such breadth and universality and timelessness, when a poem can change its meaning to the same person depending on the time of day and year that it is read, when a poem helps someone discover something about themselves or the world- THAT is great poetry.
And maybe it's not what the poet had intended its meaning to be, but that's the point. If the poet wanted the readers to only feel one way about his subject, if he wanted the readers to know certain things- he would not be a poet. He would be a lawyer or judge. He would write HOW-TO books or write philosophy. He would come right out and say it!
The poet does not. The poet takes the reader through a maze of words and lines, a jigsaw puzzle of images, a smattering of pictures to create a piece of work that is blissfully vague, peacefully puzzling. It is not math where there is one correct answer; there isn't a right or wrong way to read it. It is supposed to be analyzed a million different ways, and it supposed to have a million right answers, and it is supposed to be analyzed uniquely to the reader.
Between me and the world, poetry is a bouquet. It is a mix of emotions, feelings, meanings, analyses, words, images, puzzles, pictures, metaphors, similes, cloudy mists, colors, languages, snapshots, and mysteries. Between me and the world, poetry is an abyss plunging down- I don't know where it will take me, what lies within, or how long I will fall, but I will plunge into it.

"Okay," Cameron sighed.

So, I had one of those awesome-I-feel-like-a-making-a-small-difference teacher moments today.

To practice accurate dialogue punctuation, I had my students write a fictional conversation that they had with me in their Writer's Notebooks.

One of my students, Cameron, was having a particularly bad day. He had just broken down in tears moments before because he didn't earn his day. He is on RISE, our in-school disciplinary system, where students must earn their days by getting high scores from their teachers in all of their classes for their participation, staying on task, remaining focused, and coming to class prepared.
He has ADD, and so it's very easy for Cameron to get off-task, or start humming/drumming his fingers too loudly, get a little too distracted maybe, but he's ultimately a really great kid.

He wrote in his notebook:
"You're going to be ok," said Ms. Haseltine.
"But it's so hard when something completely destroys your self-esteem like this does," Cameron said.

...He then sat there for a while, not knowing what to write next. I was standing next to him, reading his paper over his shoulder. So, I grabbed my pen and wrote in his book:
"Cameron, you're awesome. And I know you can overcome anything!" exclaimed Ms. Haseltine.

...He wrote back in his book:
"Okay."

...Then I heard a sigh, and he gave me the tiniest smile.

World changing? No. Life changing? No. Day changing? Probably not.
Nonetheless, it was a small victory. Because for that 2 or 3 minutes, (I can hope a lot more) he knew someone believed in him. His Writing teacher knew he could overcome anything, and by his sigh and smile, I know we both believe it.

If I were to create a fictional dialogue from this, it'd go something like this:

Cameron's pencil stopped. He looked up, not knowing what to say next.
As I read the words over his shoulder, I frowned to see such sadness from a usually chipper author.

"But it's so hard when something completely destroys your self-esteem like this does," Cameron said. His words loomed on the page. Completely destroys.
I hesitated. How do I let him know that it really will be ok? He's just having a bad day. It'll get better, I promise.

I grabbed my pen from the stand, swiveled his notebook and furiously began to write my response.
"Cameron, you're awesome. And I know you can overcome anything!" exclaimed Ms. Haseltine.

Cameron re-read the new words placed before him.
"Okay," Cameron sighed. And a smile. The tiniest, little smile creeped up from the corners of his mouth. He did not look up, but only picked up his pencil and kept writing his new story.

The feeling may not have stuck, but for a short moment, Cameron could sigh with relief that his teacher believed in him. Really, truly did. And that made his day just a teeny bit more livable.

Dear Santa

I submitted this to a friend's "Dear Santa Letter Contest" for her blog last year. Being the season for it, I thought i'd re-post it. ps. It didn't win.

Dear Santa,

Please don’t take this to offence, but don’t you find it odd how much faith and hope people put into you for not only toys, computer games, and puppies but also for happiness, love, and world peace?

Let’s face it, your sugar filled diet of milk and cookies and more than jolly, rotund waistline don’t exactly make you the role model for our nation’s troublingly obese McDonalds-craving children. And these so called “elves” of yours, these implausibly cheery little people who work year long around-the-clock to hand-craft billions of toys and games in a large factory in freezing North Polar temperatures; how are we not so sure they are in fact enslaved children you have renamed to avoid increasing child labor laws?

I won’t even delve into the connotations your cheery cries of “Ho, ho, ho” imply. I’ll suffice with the wonder one has when a disadvantaged child or family doesn’t receive their Christmas presents and dreams; maybe you dallied a little too long at your stop in Vegas. No wonder you’re so jolly. Poor Mrs. Clause, left alone, hidden in the arctic tundra, only a small house, no friends or family within a thousand-mile radius while you frolic the globe singing (with) your “Ho’s” and spending obscene amounts of money on the rich and spoiled children to have outlandish, unneeded horses, jet skis, and flat-screen TVs while the poor depend on the charity of the Red Cross’s and Children’s Hospitals’ donations.

Finally, you take all the credit for the cheeriness of Christmas morning away from the hard-working parents, grandparents, and loving family members who spent countless early morning hours waiting in lines—shoving, kicking, screaming, crying, pleading, stealing, begging, lying to get their child’s #1 gift on their Christmas list.

Does little Sally or Jimmy say, “Thanks, Mom and Dad, for the awesome Wii!” No, they give all their thanks, love and cookies to the man in the big red suit.

(And why red? Isn’t yellow supposed to be a happy color? Or how about something calming, like blue? Red implies STOP not Go, violence, blood, and cheap red lipstick. Is that supposed to be a hint into your less-than-exemplary lifestyle?)

I think we all need to put a little more faith and hope in each other for the things we really want for Christmas. Look to friends and family for comfort and love. Even if you’re afraid to ask for it—it might be difficult, it might taint your pride, expose your pain, or touch on a deeply rooted family rift—but I think you’ll have more luck from your family than this Santa fellow. World peace would be nice, but I think everyone needs to achieve that inner-peace, Buddha-like happiness first. When you find yours, or if you’re having trouble, help a friend find theirs, because you never know, helping others usually helps yourself.

Isn’t that the spirit of Christmas? Let’s leave this old, jolly guy to his “ho, ho, ho’s” and look a little closer to home for peace and joy this year.

Love,

Allyson

Teaching Excellence: New Teacher Certification Training

Phew. Week 1 of Certification Training combined with 4 hours of rehearsal every night= survived. It was long, tiring, full of information, and daunting-to say the least. No worries, I'm also incredibly excited to begin teaching next month, but I am also realizing HOW MUCH tireless effort, concentration, and time it will require. I think my most difficult challenge will be coming up with engaging, stimulating, creative, and effective lessons. I have so many fears that I won't be a good teacher for my students. I want my students to do well and improve in their English language and literature comprehension, and I really hope I can do it.
(I'll be teaching 6th grade English Enrichment, and 6th and 7th grade electives-which I hope means drama, but I am still waiting for confirmation on that.)
I have met some amazing other people, however. And if nothing else, I know I will have the most inspiring support team to back me up on this new challenge. Only one other new teacher is training from my campus, Nausheen. (Pronounced New-sheen) She is AWESOME. She's my age and from Spring, TX. So she's also making a long commute to and from work every day. She'll be teaching 7th grade English and Social studies. I am so excited that we will be on the same campus and working together on the English content team. There's one other girl who I particularly like, and she's actually from League City. Bekah is incredibly sweet, and though she won't be teaching at West, she's also a 6th grade English teacher. I definitely plan on keeping in touch with her for ideas and brainstorming.
In training, it's a variety of lessons taught about planning lessons, managing misbehaviors, disciplining students, diversity training, & establishing and ensuring procedures and expectations. We have instructional coaches who teach lessons; we watch instructional videos, have group sessions of discussions and brainstorming, do role-plays and other activities, and ask lots of questions. Then we have deliverables- aka homework- and an opportunity to work on everything we're being taught.
As for a taste of the multitude of ideas and techniques I've been learning, here's some basics: LP-Lesson Planning is the crux of how to teach in the classroom. LP's are structured by an Opening (Hook), Introduction to New Material, GP (Guided Practice) and IP (Independent Practice), Assessment, and Closing. Each section has different requirements. The New Material needs to be made up of teaching key points about your objective (the knowledge and skill(s) you are teaching for the day) and CFU's (check for understandings). The GP/IP should be group and partner activities to gauge the student's understanding and application of the objective. The assessment, graded or not, then judges the individual's ultimate comprehension of the subject.
Beyond what we are actually required to teach, we're learning HOW to do it WHILE managing misbehavior AVOIDING personal prejudices OVERCOMING learning gaps between all of out students' different academic levels AND creating a supportive, inspiring and FUN environment for our students. So exciting but daunting seems an appropriate way to describe my new career.
What training has shown me, above anything else, is that teaching is a calling-and I've been called. It is meant to be. I am meant to teach. I've got my "teacher look" down (seriously, we were given time to practice this), can manage multiple misbehaviors all at once while remaining calm, and have the creativity to make my kids 'succeed' (based on the helpful feedback I've gotten from my 'homework' assignments, discussions, role-plays, and inspiring speeches our instructional coaches have given). The YES Prep environment is exactly the right one too- every staff member, teacher, student and parent is determined for the Big Goal- SUCCESS. Whatever it Takes. We will help our students succeed, go to a four year college and graduate from it.
I'm still terrified that I'll be able to do it, and do it right- but nonetheless, I am ready to be the instructional leader of my classroom. Ready to help my kids think higher and feel deeper.
Sigh. Life is falling into place.

Correcting Accident-Caused Blindness

And why are people opposed to stem-cell research when these are the type of results of it?

http://news.yahoo.com/video/health-15749655/medical-breakthrough-restoring-sight-to-the-blind-20498197

These are the miracles scientific research strives for.

Equality Across the Board

One of the trainers who I often see when I work out at the gym is incredibly friendly. He is a very fit, buff black man, probably in his late thirties or forties. He always remembers you when you walk through the door, offers tips, and will chat up every and any one.
My gym clothes consist mainly of the ridiculous t-shirts I've accumulated through high school and college. From ballet and dance productions, sorority, LGBT and other free shirts.
The friendly trainer always reads my shirts, and usually makes some sort of comment. He'd previously noticed my "Gay? Fine by me" LGBT Bucknell shirt. He sort of nodded, I think not entirely sure what to make of it. Then today, I wore my Sorority Recruitment shirt all the staff and gamma-chi's wear: "No matter the letter, we're all Greek together." So the trainer approaches me, "All right. I just have to know. Are you an Equality across the board kind of girl? Because I remember your 'Gay' shirt. And someone nearby had asked me what I thought of it. And I had said that I thought there was nothing wrong with it, and that you have to know the person wearing it. And I thought of you as a sort of Equality Across the Board kind of person. Especially with your shirt now." (OR something along those lines.) He later commented how refreshing it was that I felt that way, because so many people nowadays were one-sided and and unaccepting.
I had, of course, replied that, Yes, I was an "Equality Across the Board" kind of person. That was exactly how I felt. We continued to chat for a little longer, but it really got me thinking about what I really did believe. And I came to the following conclusion.
I am an Equality Across the Board person. I truly, and deeply, believe that regardless of race, religion, age, sexual orientation, ethnicity, cultural and philosophical beliefs, we are all human. All children or souls of God, or Gods, or some higher spiritual being or pull, cosmic force, fate, ghosts, or even just luck, random chance or coincidence (whatever you so choose to believe or not believe in). But that we are all ultimately equal beings in an environment that consists of something above and beyond our one self. Even if it is only for one other person, be it lover, mother, cousin, pet. If it is only for close family and friends. For your neighbors. For your cultural identity. For your community. As long as a person is living and acting, breathing, loving, doing for anyone or anything above a personal, selfish gain.
And the only people I don't like are those that are self-righteous or intolerant and un-accepting. Anyone who thinks they are better than others because of their religious, cultural, ethnic, racial or other beliefs. Now, there is the "better" sense in smaller terms, of which, I am completely victim to and I feel is understandable and acceptable. Some people are smarter than others, they may have more knowledge, wisdom. Some people are more talented, in sports or arts. So they may be 'better' in one sense or form, but I do not think that anyone is better simply because of what they do/don't believe or worship in, because of race, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation etc. Or deserve any more respect or virgins in heaven because of it.
I think a person's deeds, kindness, reactions and interactions with others affect the level of respect and/or 'holiness' of an individual. I feel a person's worth is far more based on their relationships with others. (Though I am not trying to belittle one's relationship with one's self. It should be healthy, of course, but I think that health is very much based on how one interacts with others.)
And those who are not tolerant of others for some reason or another. Tolerance is not an easy skill, I am well aware. It is something that has to be worked on. Everyone has their own prejudices, biases, and experiences that affect their tolerance and acceptance. So I realize that a person may not always be able to give complete acceptance and tolerance (I know that I do not), but one should always try to. And I do try. And I think most people do.
IT all goes back to: peace. love. hugs. and cake. Or as the guy at my gym says, "Equality Across the Board."